Bedknobs and Broomsticks

The son of Arizona state Senate President Ken Bennett has pleaded guilty to 18 counts of aggravated assault after being indicted for "brooming" young boys at a camp for the Arizona Association of Junior High Student Councils last year. Clifton Bennet admitted to assaulting the boys with a "broomstick in their buttocks." An accomplice in these assaults was a one Kyle Matthew Wheeler. While the facts of the assaults are undispuuted, it appears that the Yavapai County prosecutor is laying down some covering flak for Mr. Bennet and his son by saying that the media is "grossly misrepresenting" the details of the assaults. According to County Attorney Sheila S. Polk, these assaults were simply "hazing gone wrong," as though the brooms were meant to prod some other possible orifice and accidently wound up in the rectums of these boys, eighteen seperate times. This would be what is known as a repeated mistake. Polk dismisses the criticism but admits that the behaviour was "inappropriate."

More hilarious that Polk's bizarre cover story is that the Bennet's lawyer is arguing that his client, who is now eighteen, should be spared the possibility of anal rape in prison because Bennet strongly desires to go on a mission with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, presumably to some remote region where the Word of the Lord is desperately needed, where brooms and children are plentiful and child molestation laws, police, courts and prisons are not.

At this point, will it be much of a surprise to learn that the president of the Arizona State Senate is a Republican?