Monday, November 06, 2006

Fat wives and falling down

Ministers are circling Father Ted, launching a series of justfying diatribes for Haggard's wayward stroll down that path of wickedness. You see, it's all the fault of women, both the temptress and the fat, lazy wife. The wife (or wives in general) take the blame because, in being married to a pastor, they have taken for granted that fidelity was locked-in:
Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either.
Ha! I guess Haggard showed her! That lazy bitch. The "take one for the team" line is also enjoyable. What team is that, exactly? The "pastors with fat wives" team? And, yes sir, you are now more widely despised but I'm guessing this isn't anything new.

Then there is a more general, biblical blame: women are inherently evil and these poor souls must be vigilent against those wicked vessels of temptation. In essence, it all goes back to Eve for these people:
I have, however, seen some very overt opportunities for sin. On one occasion I actually had a young woman put a note into my shirt pocket while I was serving communion with my wife, asking me to have dinner, a massage, and sex with her. On another occasion a young woman emailed me a photo of herself topless and wanted to know if I liked her body. Thankfully, that email was intercepted by an assistant and never got to me.
Whew! Thank The Lord that email never got to this fellow, otherwise it surely would have been beyond his spiritual powers to resist. Who knows what wickedness the harlot would have him unleash?

I wonder when women in these churches -- which this pastor makes sound like pick-up joints for these loosy goosies -- will figure out what objects of scorn and ridicule they really are to such people as this pastor.

[thanks to Shakespeare's Sister for dredging the intellectually depraved bowls of modern Christiandom and finding some of the pathetic mewlings of these sanctimonious fuckwads.]


Anonymous robb said...

There may be a good point here.
I mean if my wife gained a couple of pounds, the first thing that I would want to do is take some Meth and have some gay sex. Doesn't every man feel that way?

2:14 PM  

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