Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Burnt Toast

Intrepid White House press secretary, Scotty McClellan, spurred by the recent advice of new White House chief of staff Josh Bolten, announced his resignation today. As press secretary, McLellan has certainly been strapped to the prow of Bush's skipjack agenda as it cut mercilessly through the sea of normative federal governance and I'm guessing that, after Bush's little performace yesterday, one that was probably going to require yet more explanation, McClellan finally recognized he had taken one too many gulps of the briny froth the USS Unconstitution was churning up.

McClellan has lasted longer than most but seemed to admit that trying to explain -- obfuscate -- the behaviours and programs of the Bush White House left him spent:
I have given it my all sir and I have given you my all sir....
Hell, I believed he was toasted months ago, after he found himself "explaining" the US military's Arab media payola program:
Frankly, I just don't know how McCllelan does this anymore. Can't the guy be tired by now? The job certainly seemed to wipe out Fleischer fairly quickly. Sometimes you can see McCllelan standing up there after some story or another breaks -- and they have been breaking -- and he just looks beat up, even before the questions have started. He must know this is taking years off his life. That is, if you can call being White House press secretary a life. I'd rather shovel real shit all day long.
Of all the White House staff, McClellan seemed to be a genuinely decent guy, which is exactly why Bush/Rove picked him for the spot. I say seemed because you have to wonder just how decent anyone can actually be considering the employers. But that's my impression, although such an opinion is borne out of some relativism as well; when your collegues are guys like Rove, Cheney and Bush, who wouldn't look decent?

Bush, of course, attempted to add some of his patented faux folksiness to the scene:
It's going to be hard to replace Scott, but nevertheless he made the decision and I accepted it. One of these days, he and I are going to be rocking in chairs in Texas and talking about the good old days.
Ahh, yes, those good old days. Hey, Scotty, remember when we were fucking over the entire country and working on that whole police state thing and you were up in front of those damn cameras every day having to explain how it all was actually good for the country? Woo hoo, what a blast! God, I miss that shit.

If McClellan is the decent guy I'd like to believe, he assuredly won't be doing this and if this country returns to some semblance of its former self, Bush won't be doing this either. He'll be in prison, still convinced that everyone had misunderstood his glorious and brilliant vision.


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