Saturday, September 16, 2006

A new DHS employee

misanthrope has some news about the Department of Homeland Security:
Disgraced Hewlett-Packard Co. Chairwoman Patricia C. Dunn, who resigned her leadership position on the HP board for spying on her peers on the board regarding a media leak, is going to be appointed to a Homeland Security position.

“Patricia Dunn is a patriot and a honorable America who will make a great addition to our efforts to protect the American people from the proliferating terrorists eager to attack freedom loving citizens,” said an unidentified White House official. “Without Patty’s brave forceful steps we could have had any number of computers or printers producing mushroom clouds.”

An uncorroborated report has it that Vice President Dick Cheney praised her efforts and said California attorney general Bill Lockyer would rather give traitors free reign to provide comfort to the enemy.

HP’s outside attorney appears to have had prior knowledge of the wiretapping and did not stop it. President Bush was so impressed by the attorney that he may introduce him as a Supreme Court judge nominee when one of those liberal jurists who’d rather make laws than interpret the laws retires or dies.
I agree. The DHS would be foolish to let this woman out of their grasp. She's perfect for them.


Anonymous robb said...

If Geoffrey Dahmer were still around they would probably put him in charge of "prisoner care" at Gitmo.

6:06 PM  
Blogger The Misanthrope said...

I am flattered. Thank you, again.

6:45 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

Jesus christ on a crutch..she is a perfect fit..aren't we lucky....

2:54 AM  
Anonymous hotpotatomash said...

i just hope no one gets the wrong idea that promises were made by the government beforehand. because there is no proof that this is anything more than the government making a statement that you are either with us or against us. the bush admin is essentially telling those it comes in contact with, if you scratch our back, we'll scratch yours. and that is hardly one of those quid pro quo things that are illegal.

kinda reminds me of the stink everyone made when that guy in the white house was rewriting science about global warming, until the heat became even greater than my macbook pro laptop, and they had to let him go. and then, coincidentally, he got a job at exxon like 3 hours later. people were like, see, i told you so. please, like its a bad thing to keep up on the latest edition of "what color is my parachute".

what's great about this type of stuff is that it is proof of american creativity and ingenuity. there are not many countries in the world with people able to make such outlandish claims about such disparate facts. what a hoot.

4:21 AM  

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