ET Phones ... Canada

It is generally true that most of the world pays little attention to Canada. And that is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be directly attributable to the fact that they are a harmless lot, inclined as they are toward getting along with everyone and trying to be the world's friend. More countries could do well to emulate this sort of non-confrontational posture.

As a result of all this international comity, no one pays much attention to the things Canada, or rather, the things Canadian politicians say. At least, that is, until they say things like this:

UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head.

I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something.

The secrecy involved in all matters pertaining to the Roswell incident was unparalled. The classification was, from the outset, above top secret, so the vast majority of U.S. officials and politicians, let alone a mere allied minister of defence, were never in-the-loop.

The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide.

These were the expressed concerns of former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister Paul Hellyer. Granted, he was the MoD way back in the early sixties and may be a tad off kilter these days. Apparently, so spooked was he by the Roswell incident, it never left his mind and, by his own account, has been festering in there ever since. Having never been "in-the-loop" about Roswell, as he claims, naturally implies a near-future intergalactic war. Why, how much more obvious could it be?

In fact, Mr. Hellyer is so afraid that the US is about to engage in intergalactic war, he has demanded that the Parliament of Canada convene public hearings on "Exopolitics," in an effort to stave off invasion and the inevitable and likely futile war.

Futile? you ask. Well, yes. It should be fairly obvious that any alien swarm capable of reaching us from "intergalactic" distances would probably kick our asses with nary a blink. Unless they are the friendly "ET" kind that Mr. Hellyer is probably hoping they are.

Within the panoply of amazing features of the story, like the fact that it actually is a story, perhaps the most amazing aspect of it is that some non-governmental organisations are seriously considering Hellyer's words and intend to approach the Canadian Senate with the proposal for public hearings.

The brunt of all this, as usual, comes from Canada's constant need to be the meeters and greeters of the world. Hellyer is adopting the usual Canadian position of wanting Canada to be, not just the world's friend, but every world's friend. You see, Hellyer wants the world to ban space-based weapons, not in effort to prevent world domination by whoever controls that high ground with death rays and laser cannons and the like, but because he does not want earthlings offending the "ethical Extraterrestrial civilizations visiting" this planet. It's an intergalactic, "can't we all just get along" stance, really.

And now the world can go back to ignoring everything Canada says. Probably forever this time.