China Doll

American diplomats across the board have expressed dismay at the news that Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, will be heading to China for talks on military relations. It is expected that wide-ranging diplomatic devastation will also be on tap with Rumsfeld scheduled to visit South Korea, Mongolia, Kazakhstan and Lithuania. One source said, that, yes, the diplomatic corps has its concerns:

With very delicate talks in the works with China and North Korea, yes, we're worried. This is his first visit to China. That combined with the fact that no one ever knows what the idiot is going to say, least of all him, well, God help us. He goes to China with the mouth he has, not the one we want him to have.

The only positive aspect to this is that, much of the time, no one has any idea what the hell he's talking about. This is our imagined "best case" scenario.

The trip is expected to last a week, at which point diplomatic negotiators are planning to restart talks and repair the anticipated damage.