Monday, February 27, 2006

Falling Object

Police and their reports are well known for a laconic, no-nonsense style; no mincing or flourishes allowed.

This past summer, as world leaders met for the G8 summit in Scotland, George Bush, as he often does, found time to head out on a little mountain bike ride. And, being Scotland, things were a tad ... damp. As might be expected, the combination of damp ground conditions, George Bush and a bicycle were no match for the physical laws of the universe. This unfortunate combination of conditions resulted in the injury of a Scotish police constable. As with all of Bush's ungainly dalliances, the injury was not entirely to himself but someone else.

I'll let the police report pick up the action from those halcyon days of yore:
[The unit] was requested to cover the road junction on the Auchterarder to Braco Road as the President of the USA, George Bush, was cycling through.

[At] about 1800 hours the President approached the junction at speed on the bicycle. The road was damp at the time. As the President passed the junction at speed he raised his left arm from the handlebars to wave to the police officers present while shouting 'thanks, you guys, for coming'.

As he did this he lost control of the cycle, falling to the ground, causing both himself and his bicycle to strike [the officer] on the lower legs. [The officer] fell to the ground, striking his head. The President continued along the ground for approximately five metres, causing himself a number of abrasions. The officers... then assisted both injured parties.
The police report listed the cause of the constable's injuries the result of a "moving/falling object."

Nothing about this is surprising, other than the refreshingly appropriate language of the police report. Bush has a history of falling off his bike.

The incident is poetic, both for its typical nature and, more importantly, its metaphorical aspect; Bush has spent his entire lifetime swerving around, half out of control, thwacking innocent bystanders, knocking the legs out from underneath the law as he had made his merry and indolent way toward the destruction of civilisation.


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